Monday, August 15, 2011


I'm stuck.

I've spent quite a few weeks working through social anxiety disorder. Now I feel like I'm ready for the challenge of moving out into the world and connecting with people. But first I have to work through the depression. It's been a tough couple of weeks. I feel stuck in myself. My boyfriend resents me because I don't have a job, and it's difficult for me to accomplish even small tasks from day to day. The fact that he resents me only makes it harder because I don't have his support. He says I need help, (well, we both say that) but I've already been in therapy and it really didn't help. I need a spiritual counselor, someone who understands both the spiritual and the psychological. It boggles my mind sometimes how much I'm dealing with right now. And all while I'm sitting on my couch watching cooking shows.

I'm sort of at a standstill with my school applications. I've decided to take a chance and apply to a different school, which means now I have to get my high school transcripts, but there's no one at my high school until September, so I have to put the whole thing on hold. It'll probably work out though, because since I'm taking a chance on a different school, I won't be going until the Spring and I actually have the time to wait. I don't know how I'll get through the next few months. But I'll find a way. All things for a reason, I suppose.

Now I just have to figure out how to get my boyfriend to love me again...