I have an undiagnosed learning disability. My old therapist gave disability assessments when she was in college, and she suggested I get tested. I never did, so I don't have the papers to prove it or anything. But it's obvious that it's there. Somehow, my parents never noticed (same as the SA). Or perhaps they just had their fearful suspicions and never said anything. Honestly, I think the most likely scenario is that they both saw that something was just "wrong," and both chalked it up to the fact that their marriage was so strained. They didn't know what to do, and did nothing. And honestly, if you want to take the clinical aspect out, that's pretty much true. Both of them were too unhappy to truly be able to help me.
I suppose this is a lesson in forgiveness. I can't blame them or myself for the circumstances. They just were as they were. We were all in it together, in a way. And in many ways, we weren't.
Life goes on, I guess.