Wednesday, May 2, 2012


When I ask God/the universe/Spirit for help, I get it. When I tell God that I need help, but that I can't handle any more pain (this has been quite a painful journey for me), and beg God to please take it easy on me, the help I get is gentler, and just as effective. When I allow God to guide me in the direction I know I need to go, walking that path is so much easier and less fearful and less painful than resisting the fear, than trying to take the "easy" way out.

This isn't speculation. I can point to specific examples, just in the last few months, weeks even, of asking God for help and receiving it, and in no great length of time. A matter of a day or less, and I'm thrown into a situation that forces me to do what I know I need to do. God responds when called, if you let it. Truly let it.

Severe social anxiety and depression have caused me to stagnate in my life. Action has been a major hurdle for me. Action in making decisions for myself, action in trying to push myself past my fears, action in doing those things, practical, necessary, desired, that I know I ought to do, but am too afraid to do. Action in getting off the couch when my joints and my back are aching and my brain is screaming for release/companionship/stimulation. Action, the smallest and the biggest, has been a challenge.

And yet now, I look back at my multitude of examples, and I see that God responds when called, from deep within you.

God, help me to act.