Sunday, July 10, 2011

Letting go of letting go

It's been a tough couple of days for everyone. I released as much as I had built up, and it felt good. It still feels good. I feel open. I feel like now, I can stop worrying, because I have nothing left to search for. Now I can work on letting things come to me, letting the issues come up when they need to, and the energy flow as it needs to. I can also let myself move as I need to.
Wow. That's incredible.

I saw my habit of trying to remember the things that I was letting go of. When the last bit of tension released, I would start to feel my heart expand, and the problems would fade away, and I would think "Wait! I need to remember what that was so I can remember not to worry about it!" Ha! It's so funny now that I write it out and look at it.
But I realized, I was trying to hold on to letting go. I was trying to remember not only the problems, but the feeling itself. I was trying to remember it so I could repeat it tomorrow. But this time, when the issues faded, they were replaced with a beautiful silence. And I realized that all the problems and issues were just dark energy disguised as human experiences. It really doesn't matter what those experiences were, it just matters that I was aware of the energy that held them in, and I was able to let it go.

Good. Now I can sleep.