I really should write things down before I forget them, especially when I know I'm not going to get to the computer till the next day. >-< Doh!
Anyway, the gist of it was, God is the nature of all things. I realized that in order to allow my intuition to flourish, I must allow every aspect of my own being to exist as it naturally would without outside interference. When you take a handful of pebbles and throw them down onto the ground, they land as they naturally would, bouncing off of each other and propelling each other in all directions, and each pebble will continue in the direction it is bound for. The result is a chaotic arrangement of pebbles that looks, well, natural. But when you go in and start placing them in patterns in order to make them look natural, you get something that looks contrived, and over-analyzed. You only get what you're going for when you allow gravity and chance to do the work for you.
Financially, I am worse off than I was a week ago. But everything else is golden.
Writing has a compulsion for me that I can't ignore, and I know it will play heavily in my life. I've gone a long time without writing anything, or at least anything "creative". (All writing is creative for me, but you know what I mean.) But I've never lost the drive for it. Even when I had no idea why I wanted to write, and wasn't even sure that I wanted to, I still wanted to. I'm making more of an effort to read more, and I'm actively trying to write down whatever comes to my mind to write. Right now I'm oiling up the rusty spots.
Boyfriend and I were sitting and talking about oatmeal yesterday, because we were eating it, and he said he wanted me to make more of the oatmeal cranberry walnut cookies I made a few months ago. Then, because Boyfriend has the eternal entrepreneurial spirit, he said, "We could sell-WE COULD SELL COOKIES!"
Now, this was a life-changing event for several reasons. 1) He's wanted to start some sort of food service business for a long time. Money has always been the issue, but cookies we can do in our own kitchen. 2) I came to the conclusion that even when I love my job, I hate having a job. It just doesn't feel right for me. I'd much rather work from home. And all we really need to get this up and running are to organize the kitchen, get some baking supplies, and play with a few recipes. He's a natural at marketing and come on, who doesn't want cookies? Homemade chocolate chip, 3 for a dollar in a cellophane bag. Yes please.
We're calling it HoneyButton Bakeshop. All our recipes will be made with honey instead of sugar, and our logo will be a button with a bee flying around it. We've already come up with a few signature recipes =D The first thing to do now is just clean and organize the kitchen. I've been talking about getting that done for a while now. Time to stop talking, eh?
I've been feeling the shift lately from inaction to action, from confusion to clarity. Today I feel like no dark space is hidden from me any longer. I've learned how to focus without stifling. As I was thinking about this and feeling pretty good, I got this tweet on my phone, from @meditationtip: "The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. This is the day your life really begins."
Anyway, I'm feeling a walk in the forest so I'm going to go get ready for that. Can't wait to go enjoy that weather =)
